Beauty

In a Jordanian grocery store, I bought a packet of skin-whitening cream. Not for myself, of course. I think I am white enough already! But I found it interesting that people in the Arab world, who have beautiful skin shades, would want to appear lighter.

The desire for fair skin among naturally dark-skinned individuals has created a booming industry in several countries. India, for example, has adopted the attitude that lighter skin equates to acceptance and success. They apply not just creams, but some people undergo medical procedures to lighten the color of their skin.

Contrast that mentality to many American girls and women, who spend enormous amounts of money and time to get that bronzed beauty beach look!

Every society has different standards of beauty. The moment a person is born into the framework of their society, he instinctively adopts its ideals without question. At some point, the pursuit begins. He or she becomes aware that they are not measuring up, so they begin their journey to conform to their society’s standard.

It seems that most societies define beauty as something opposite of how the people in that nation naturally look. Often, the attempt to achieve the elusive ideal is an emotionally damaging and sometimes physically painful process.

For example, some Asians undergo plastic surgery to exchange their naturally slanted eyes for more rounded eyes, in their desire to look more European.

In China, some people undergo painful leg lengthening procedures to add to their height. In a society where most people are short, being tall is desirable and helps pave the way for better jobs and higher economic status.

In Mauritania, naturally-thin girls are sent to camps where they are force-fed up to 16,000 calories a day. The goal? Return home fat. In Mauritania, men tend to like obese women. Stretch marks are especially appealing. Although human rights and health awareness groups protest the traditional practice of purposely becoming obese, equating fatness with beauty is deeply entrenched in the minds of many men and women in this west-African country.

What is wrong with this picture? Here in America we would pity those poor, primitive Mauritanian girls who become bloated, believing that big is beautiful. After all, here in America, the thinner a girl is, the more beautiful people think she is. And our way of thinking is right, right? After all, that is what our models and movie stars tell us. We have our ideal of beauty, just as Mauritania has theirs, and ours must be superior.  

I propose that the ideals of both cultures are dangerously flawed. Neither accepts a woman as she is, but try to force her into becoming something she is not…whether unhealthily obese or unhealthily skinny.

What is wrong with accepting ourselves just as we are, just as God made us? Why do we have to give in to the pressure to conform to often-unattainable standards of beauty? Why do we feel guilty for not looking differently? Why do we harbor feelings of rejection just because we don't measure up to other people's ideas of how we should look?

What is wrong with looking in the mirror and accepting who we are…even liking who we are…because GOD made us that way? If He likes your hair color, your height, your nose, your chin, why don’t you just accept it?

         Often, the things we consider our physical shortcomings are the very things that make us unique! I am 5’11”. Definitely a stand-out-in-the-crowd characteristic. As a young teenager, I found myself slumping, trying to blend in with my friends who were all shorter than me. A man in our church, who was also tall, noticed my habit. He came up to me one day and encouraged me to not slump but to be glad that I was tall. His few short words made a big difference in my outlook. I began to accept that being tall is okay. God made me this way. Why do I want to spend the rest of my life resenting what I cannot change?

Even if we can change some of our characteristics, is the change really worth the effort? Plastic surgery, reliance on makeup to hide what we consider flaws, endless spa appointments…the path to elusive beauty goes on and on and on.

I am not advocating dowdiness and disregard for our appearance and weight. What I do want to change is our loyalty to our society’s aggressive, in-your-face, unforgiving, unrealistic concept of what we should look like. Some of us – especially women – spend our entire lives trying to measure up to an unattainable standard that is so far from God’s ideal of beauty that it would be laughable if so many of us were not drowning in such a vicious lie.

Watch for more blog entries on this topic. It has been a passionate thought in my mind for a long time and I am finally getting time to formulate my thoughts for readers.